🪓STEVE JOBS: Fierce. Father. Forever.

[#17] Tale of Chaos: The Genius he became, the father he could not. It has been 13 years since he left. We know him from what he meant to us. But we never got to see his intimate side, until Lisa…

Hello iKyu-riskers! We truly welcome you in reading our Today’s “SE edition” for our inKredible subsKribers (we want everyone to read this so today’s edition in remembrance of our God is FREE). Don’t know what time of the day this is going to chime in your inbox intimately but take note: This edition won’t be like our flagship brutal business breakdowns🪓.

This edition is all about remembering that he is Still Alive…

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“Fierce. Father. Forever”. ©️iKyu.

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Steve Jobs.

October 5th, 2011.

The world stopped. Not to time, but to a legacy. The only thing left behind by a spartan-spirit genius was his ideas, his innovation and his innate love for technology pushing humanity forward.

But there’s one thing missing: Intimacy.

Intimacy of all the unpolished thoughts. His vulnerability with people. And facing abandonment through life, wielding him to be this great.

This missing piece of the puzzle is unveiled by someone close to him, but not too close. Doesn’t make sense does it?

His ‘will’ to NOT accept metamorphosis into being like his biological parents who abandoned him was hard; but he couldn’t deny the inevitable. He shone as the future bearer. He struggled being a father.

13 years later, we remember him as the genius he became.

But from his daughter’s eyes, Lisa saw him as a champion fighting a lost battle. The battle of being a father…

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“It’s a lot of hard work. And it’s a lot of worrying, constantly.  So if you don’t love it, you’re going to fail.”

Steve Jobs.

It was 1972, and Steve Jobs was just a senior at Homestead High School when he met Chrisann Brennan, a junior, in the high school quad. Chrisann was assisting a group of friends who were making a claymation film on Wednesday evenings, and Steve would come to hold candles between takes for her. It was during one of these sessions that Steve handed Chrisann a sheet of paper with the lyrics to Bob Dylan's "Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands" and told her to return it to him when she was done.

Their relationship would last nearly six years, and in that first year, they fell in love. However, Chrisann's mother, who was affected by paranoid schizophrenia, was becoming increasingly unhinged and harsh. She had accused Chrisann of having intercourse with dogs and playing the recorder because it resembled a penis. Steve stood up to Virginia, Chrisann's mother, and helped her deal with her condition.

Chrisann and Steve moved into a cabin together, paying the rent with the money they earned from making and selling "blue boxes" that emitted a series of tones that fooled phone companies into putting calls through for free. Steve left for Reed College in Oregon, but he dropped out after about half a year as he was directionless. Chrisann began dating someone else, and the relationship fell apart without much conversation.

When Steve realized that Chrisann had essentially dumped him, he was deeply upset. Two years later, they got back together, and Chrisann started working in the packing department of the nascent company that Steve had started with Wozniak - a company they named Apple.

Chrisann was unhappy, and she had been planning to leave Steve, who was temperamental, but an unintentional pregnancy put a kink in her plans. Unbeknownst to her, her body had rejected the contraceptive she was using, an intrauterine device. When Steve found out, he was furious and ran from the room. Despite the tumultuous nature of their relationship, they had a daughter named Lisa, whom Steve initially denied being the father of but later accepted.

Their on-again, off-again relationship eventually ended, but their story is an important part of the history of Apple and the tech industry.

The year was 1978, and Steve Jobs had just arrived at the Oregon farm where Chrisann had given birth to a baby girl. The people gathered there were all anticipating Steve's reaction to his newborn child. But Steve's response was not what anyone expected.

"It's not my kid," he repeated, much to the shock of the onlookers. Nevertheless, Steve helped Chrisann choose a name for the baby girl - they both agreed on Lisa.

As the years went by, Steve continued to deny paternity, and Chrisann was left to raise Lisa alone. She was forced to rely on welfare and took up cleaning and waitressing jobs to make ends meet. Steve rarely visited and provided no substantial financial support.

In 1980, the district attorney of San Mateo County, California, sued Steve on Chrisann's behalf, and he was required to pay child support after a DNA test confirmed that he was indeed Lisa's father. Although Steve had claimed he wasn't the father, the test showed a 94.4% probability that he was.

The case dragged on for months, but then suddenly, Steve's lawyers began pushing to close it quickly. It turned out that Steve had other priorities in mind. Apple was about to go public, and he wanted to tie up his financial loose ends before the company's IPO.

Steve agreed to pay $500 per month in child support and health insurance until Lisa's eighteenth birthday. He also reimbursed the state for all of Chrisann's welfare payments.

Despite the legal ruling, Steve continued to deny paternity. It was only when Lisa was an adult that she found out that Steve had carried a picture of her in his wallet and would show it to people, saying, "It's not my kid. But she doesn't have a father, so I'm trying to be there for her."

The story of Lisa's paternity is a complex and emotional one, but it provides a glimpse into the personal life of one of the most innovative and enigmatic figures in modern technology.

Lisa’s whispered secret had been brewing within her for some time. It was a truth she’d held tightly to her chest since she was old enough to understand the significance of her father’s name.

Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, was an elusive figure in her life. Though he was a wealthy and renowned figure in the world, he was hardly present in her own world, leaving Lisa and her mother to navigate the hardships of life alone.

Despite the difficulties she faced, Lisa loved her mother deeply, and the two shared many happy memories together. They would go skating, and Chrisann would frequently tell Lisa how much she loved and appreciated her.

But the happiness was often short-lived. Chrisann’s frustration with her life and situation would boil over into verbal attacks on Lisa. During one terrifying car ride, Chrisann screamed obscenities at the windshield and drove recklessly, blaming her daughter for her own problems.

Eventually, Lisa’s school officials intervened, calling Steve to take her in before they were forced to involve social services. Living with her father, Lisa felt like her life was about to change in ways she could never have imagined.

But the reality of her new life was not as glamorous as she’d anticipated. While Steve was now a prominent figure in her life, he was still distant and not always emotionally present. Lisa struggled to find a sense of belonging in her new family, while still feeling the pain of her mother’s absence.

Years later, Lisa would reflect on her complicated relationship with her father and the painful memories of her childhood. But despite it all, she would never forget the whispered secret that she carried with her for so many years - the knowledge that Steve Jobs was her father.

“Do you want to change your name?” Steve Jobs asked.

Lisa Brennan-Jobs had just moved in with her father and his wife, Laurene. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of Steve’s sudden question, as they passed each other in the hallway.

“Change it to what?” she asked.

“My name,” Steve replied.

Lisa paused, trying to make sense of his suggestion. Did he mean “Steve”? Or did he want her to take on the Jobs name? The question left her feeling conflicted for many reasons.

Before Lisa moved in with Steve, one of his conditions was that she not see her mother for six months. It felt like abandonment to Lisa, and taking Steve’s name would only add to that feeling. In the end, she decided to keep her mother’s name and add Steve’s name, hyphenating the two – Brennan-Jobs.

Steve seemed pleased with her decision, but that didn’t entitle her to any special treatment. In fact, Lisa felt like she had to tread carefully in her new home. While she had often rebelled against her mother by doing chores poorly or procrastinating, she dutifully did everything her father asked of her. She cleaned the dishes almost every night and looked after Steve and Laurene’s newborn son, Reed, whenever asked.

Lisa also tried to endear herself to Steve in other ways. She worked hard in school and joined extracurricular activities, hoping to impress him and boost her college applications. She even started an Opera Club and was elected freshman class president.

Steve didn’t seem to appreciate her efforts. Her school was over an hour away, in San Francisco, and he refused to arrange after-school transportation that fit her schedule. But when she stayed overnight with friends in the city, he accused her of not being committed to the family.

On top of that, Steve deprived Lisa of basic conveniences. He refused to fix the heating in her room or replace her stolen bicycle, which was her only means of transportation. When Lisa was growing up, Steve had been an intermittent presence in her life. She had hoped that living with him would bring them closer together, but instead, he often accused her of not wanting to be part of his family.

As Lisa tried to navigate her new life with her father, she couldn’t help but wonder if Steve truly wanted her there, or if she was just a pawn in his complicated life.

One morning, Steve and Laurene were awakened by the sight of sheets of paper taped across the inside of their home’s hallway windows. Excited words were scrawled across each sheet in all caps: “I GOT IN. I GOT IN. I GOT IN.”

Perplexed by the papers, Steve asked for an explanation. “She’s into Harvard,” Laurene said with a smile.

But Steve and Laurene hadn't been part of Lisa's preparation for Harvard. Steve was convinced Lisa wouldn’t amount to much, believing she had no marketable skills. He often joked that she’d end up working at Ruby's, a strip club they passed by on their drives.

Lisa, on the other hand, saw her admission to Harvard as a sort of cure-all. It was a testament to her intelligence, a chance to prove herself, and an opportunity to escape her father's taunts and constant belittling. Steve had never been one for higher education, thinking of college as a place for those without creative vision.

The years leading up to her acceptance were difficult for Lisa, and her father's constant criticism only exacerbated her feelings of loneliness. During one therapy session, Steve and Laurene joined her, where Lisa tearfully confessed to feeling terribly alone. “We’re just cold people,” Laurene admitted.

Despite this, Steve did occasionally show kindness. He once gave Lisa a NeXT desktop, but took it away when it wouldn't turn on, never replacing it. He also grudgingly agreed to pay her tuition for Harvard and even bought her a new Armani coat before she left.

It wasn't until later that Steve revealed something unexpected to Lisa. He told her that his happiest years had been during her high school years, when she lived with him and his family. It was a statement that left Lisa stunned, as she had always felt distant from her father.

During Lisa's last summer before her senior year at Harvard, Steve invited her to go to the circus with him, Laurene, and their son Reed. However, Lisa was spending time with her mother, Chrisann, and declined the invitation. Her relationship with Chrisann had improved, and she felt that spending time with her mother was more important than going to the circus. Steve responded with his usual catchphrase, "You're not being part of this family," and told Lisa that she would need to move out if she didn't attend.

Lisa was shocked and hurt by Steve's ultimatum. She had nowhere else to go, as her mother was living with her boyfriend and didn't have the space for Lisa to stay. Despite this, Lisa didn't give in to Steve's demands. Instead, she turned to Kevin and Dorothy, their neighbors who had always been kind to her.

Kevin and Dorothy welcomed Lisa into their home, and while Steve and Laurene were at the circus, Lisa packed her things and left a note for Steve saying she loved him and asking him to call her. But Steve never called, and Lisa didn't hear from him for the rest of the summer.

When Lisa returned to Harvard for her senior year, she discovered that her tuition fees hadn't been paid. Kevin came to the rescue and offered to pay for her final year. Lisa was grateful for Kevin's help, but Harvard and academic life still fell short of her expectations. Despite her good grades and involvement in various activities, she continued to feel lonely.

Steve and Lisa drifted apart after her refusal to attend the circus. He stopped responding to her emails and phone calls, and their relationship became distant. Even though she had left his home, Lisa couldn't escape the emotional pain that came from feeling rejected by her father.

In the years before Lisa was born, Steve Jobs had begun working on a new computer, a precursor to the Macintosh. It was called the Lisa, and it hit the market after Lisa was born. As a child, Lisa would tell her friends that her father had named a computer after her, but when she moved in with him, he denied it.

Over the years, Lisa had struggled with the question of whether the Lisa computer was named after her or not. Did her father love her or not? Did she occupy a special place in his heart and life, or was she just a mistake?

The answers finally came in the years leading up to Steve’s death. One day, he invited Lisa to join him and his family on a yachting trip in the South of France. He announced they would be stopping to visit a friend, who turned out to be Bono of U2.

During the visit, Bono asked the question Lisa had always wondered about: was the Lisa computer named after her? To her surprise, Steve answered, “Yeah, it was.” It was the first time he had ever admitted it.

As Steve’s health declined due to pancreatic cancer, he became more emotionally open with Lisa. In the hospital, he told her, “I didn’t spend enough time with you when you were little… Now it’s too late.” He cried and said, “I owe you one.”

Steve died soon after that conversation. But even after his death, Lisa could feel his presence. Her mother, Chrisann, came to visit, and despite their past fights, they grew closer. Chrisann told Lisa that Steve was overjoyed to be with her.

Lisa finally had her answers. Her father had named a computer after her, and he loved her deeply. It was a bittersweet realization, but it brought her a sense of peace and closure.

Still Alive.

~vivan.